


User Profile 2

by wanderstar



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Reunions, background beauyasha, spoilers for c2 episodes 114 and sort of 115
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27528064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderstar/pseuds/wanderstar
Summary: This was going to be the tricky part. Jester had revived the Archmage, but she had still died while under their watch and it was uncertain how much she’d be willing to cooperate. Perhaps if he could -“The fuck?”Everyone froze.------The Mighty Nein decide to resurrect Lady Vess DeRogna, but things don't go even remotely how they expect.
Relationships: The Mighty Nein & Mollymauk Tealeaf
Comments: 11
Kudos: 113





	User Profile 2

**Author's Note:**

> Directly inspired/based on this tumblr post (https://sunstarelanor.tumblr.com/post/633652987451129856) that I saw the other day, absolutely laughed my ass off at, and decided I had to write something based on it. It ended up being self indulgent fluff more than crack, but hey, what can you do sometimes.

It became clear something was wrong as soon as the spell went off.

The diamond dissolved over Vess’ body as expected. What was not expected however was the strange thrum that went through the air when it did, all of the red eye markings on the body flashing at once. Jester jerked back in alarm, quickly retreating to the rest of the group as Yasha and Fjord drew their blades. They’d known going in that there was a risk to reviving Vess, but they thought it’d involve politics, or the fact that she’d been involved in a weird cult. Not something going wrong with the spell itself. Then again, maybe it shouldn’t have been a surprise with the weird cult stuff going on. Everyone held their breath.

The silence was broken by a gasp. The body rolled to the side, coughing, before taking a few wheezing breaths. Swords were slowly lowered.

So the resurrection itself seemed to have worked. But something still felt off.

Caleb approached tentatively, looking back to the rest of the Mighty Nein before focusing on Vess. “Lady DeRogna?” This was going to be the tricky part. Jester had revived the Archmage, but she had still died while under their watch and it was uncertain how much she’d be willing to cooperate. Perhaps if he could - 

“The fuck?”

Everyone froze.

Vess had propped herself up on her elbows, glancing around at the second floor of the mansion with a look of sheer bewilderment on her face.

“Seriously, what the fuck is going on?”

Caleb blinked several times, caught off guard. This was far from what he’d expected to hear from Lady DeRogna. They already knew she’d been hiding things, and that she’d just been brought back from the dead; perhaps this was a side she didn’t usually show other people? He didn’t fully buy it, but it was the only thing he could think of.

“I, ah, apologize, Lady Vess, but we discovered your body a few days ago. It appears that you had been murdered by a member of the Tomb Takers. We have brought you back, but we have... questions about your past involvement with the group.”

While he spoke Caleb kept an eye on Vess to see if there was any reaction. Instead, however, he saw her barely paying attention as she sat up, groping at the sides of her head and forehead as if looking for something.

Jester leaned out from behind Caleb. “Ummm... are you okay?”

The hands stopped, lowering as Vess turned to look at her. “Jester?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s me!”

She stared for several seconds, hands in her lap. Slowly she turned back. “Caleb?”

“Yes?”

“... who’s Vess?”

_What?_

“Wait,” Fjord said while stepping forward with a hand in the air, “Do you not remember? Like, anything?”

“She knows some of our names,” Caduceus added, leaning on his staff as he watched Vess staring back at the two of them. “That’s something.”

“Yes, but why would she remember our names and not her own?”

“A good question.”

Vess looked at the half orc. “Fjord,” she said, and he straightened, but no follow up statement came. Her face was blank when she looked at Caduceus and Veth, but Veth’s face was hardly blank in return, the halfling woman scowling with a hand resting on her crossbow. Vess’ eyes landed on the crossbow and she paused, looking over to Caleb and back to Veth with a thoughtful expression. After a few moments her gaze turned to the last two individuals present.

Beau was standing slightly in front of Yasha, almost protectively, while Yasha rested one of her hands on Beau’s shoulder with Magician’s Judge held in her other hand. Vess stared at the two of them the longest out of anyone so far, face slowly splitting into a grin and eyes watering.

“I still have no idea what the fuck is happening but _gods_ is it good to see you assholes again.”

Vess went to stand - and almost immediately collapsed, Caleb having to rush forward to catch her before she face planted into the floor. His confusion only grew as she dissolved into nervous giggles, Vess mumbling something that sounded like “have tits,” but he wasn’t able to catch the rest. He shot a panicked look to the rest of the group.

“I’m going to echo that, what the fuck is happening?” Beau said, gesturing with one of her arms. “Did the spell get messed up? Can it get messed up?”

“Raise dead can fail just like any other spell,” Caduceus said. He tilted his head. “Though I can’t say I’ve heard of it causing an entirely different personality.”

“Could… could it be a different person? Not just a different personality?” Yasha had stepped forward, hand shifting on Beau’s shoulder and something vulnerable in her expression. Beau looked over and her face softened, placing her hand over Yasha’s.

“Might as well get to the point then,” Fjord said, looking straight at the half-elf and crossing his arms. “Are you Lady Vess DeRogna?”

“No,” Vess said, shaking her head. “And I have no idea who the fuck that is.”

“She could be lying,” Veth said as she scooched forward, also confused but mostly still suspicious. “I don’t trust her. Jester, you should do the truth thingy.”

“Zone of truth?”

“Yes! That one.”

Jester hummed in thought, looked at the others for approval, and then nodded. “Okay.” She made a shooing motion at the rest of the group and they backed out of the range of the spell, Caleb gingerly propping Vess up against the table she’d been revived on before quickly shuffling over. Jester clapped her hands together and rocked back and forth on her feet.

“Sorry about this Lady Not-Vess, but it should be over soon!”

The spell was cast and Vess shivered as it passed over her, relaxing again a moment later. 

“Alright. Ask away,” she said.

“Are you Lady Vess DeRogna?”

“Already answered. No.”

A murmur went through the group, Jester’s eyebrows raising. It seemed like they really could be dealing with someone else entirely here.

“Do you intend to harm any of us?” Caleb asked.

Vess forcefully shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

“Do you consider us your friends?” Caduceus asked, which earned him a few confused looks. Caduceus shrugged. “She seemed pretty friendly earlier.”

“I don’t know you specifically, so I can’t say, but yes, I consider you guys my friends,” Vess said, grinning.

Yasha stared hard, grip white knuckled on her sword and expression intense.

“What is your name?”

Vess grinned even wider at all of them.

“My name is Mollymauk Tealeaf,” she said, “Molly to my friends.” And passed out.

Needless to say, everyone absolutely lost their shit.

***

10 minutes later the group was arranged in a circle on the floor, Molly-Vess wrapped in a blanket and propped up against Yasha while holding a mug of hot cocoa. Beau continued to stare as he slurped loudly, Molly letting out a long sigh once the sip was finished.

“Thank you, for everything. I have no idea _how_ , but thank you.” He smiled and leaned closer into Yasha, resting Vess’ head on her shoulder while Yasha rubbed his back. “The new body thing is weird, but better that than nothing.”

“Actually,” Beau said, looking at one of the hands peeking out from under the blanket as Molly perked up, “I think I have an idea about that.” She reached forward and tapped the red eye showing on the back of the right hand, Molly looking down and grimacing as he noticed it for the first time. “Vess has these things too, tied up with all this “nonagon” stuff, and when we tried to revive her they all went crazy. I think there might’ve been, like... mixed up messages or something, since you used to have these things too.”

“Huh.” He spent several seconds looking at the eye, steam rising from the cocoa. “Her loss, my gain I guess. How’d she end up dead, anyway?” he asked, looking around at the group. “You said something about the Tomb Takers?”

“You did it,” Jester blurted out, and Molly’s eyes widened as she hurried to continue. “Or, no, not you, it was Lucien! Your body. We’d been trying to follow you. But, we know now it’s not you, since you’re here, but we didn’t know then.”

“The Tomb Takers resurrected your body a couple months ago,” Caduceus added, “but we only found out in the last few weeks.”

“That’s...” Molly trailed off, clearly at a loss for words. “... don’t even know how to process that right now.” He let out a long breath, giving himself a little shake. “Anyway! I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced,” he said, holding out a hand to Caduceus.

“Caduceus Clay, pleasure to meet you,” he said, gladly accepting the handshake. “Even if the circumstances are a bit strange.”

Molly barked out a laugh. “That’s an understatement. So how’d you meet these disasters?” He grinned as Beau rolled her eyes, though it was clear there wasn’t any heat in the gesture.

“I met them in Shady Creek Run, lived in the Blooming Grove at the time. They needed my help after...”

Caduceus trailed off this time, remembering who he was talking to. The whole group went quiet.

“Ah.” Molly found himself focusing rather intently on the mug of cocoa. “You guys - took care of the problem?”

“Yes,” Caleb and Beau said forcefully at the same time, and Veth gave a sharp nod.

“Good.” He nodded slightly to himself. “Good.” Molly looked back up to Caduceus, smiling again. “Thank you for looking after them.”

“More than happy to,” he said, giving a smile of his own.

“So!” Molly straitened up and drummed his nails against the cocoa mug. “Anyone want to fill me on the current craziness? Like why you had to revive a lady named Vess, and why she got murdered by my hijacked body?”

“Sure, but it might take a while,” Jester said. “You okay with a really really long explanation?”

“As long as you need, lay it on me!” Molly said, gesturing dramatically one of his hands.

The group proceeded to go through recent events, Molly listening intently while taking occasional sips of the cocoa. More than once he had to ask for clarification on something, which would then lead to a tangent, which _then_ had to be wrestled back on topic, but eventually they managed to get through the gist of what had occurred, plus several other topics that had come up in said tangents.

“So, just, quick clarification now that we’re wrapping up,” Molly said, cocoa now finished and mug on the floor, “on the way here you guys got attacked by Fjord’s ex-girlfriend, who worked for Fjord’s ex-patron, who also managed to _kill_ Fjord on a different sea voyage? And you met this ex-girlfriend after becoming pirates? On _accident?_ ”

“That is a gross over simplification-”

“But totally accurate,” Veth said, expression smug as Fjord deflated. He let out a defeated sigh.

“And you!” Molly said, jabbing a finger at Veth who jumped slightly, “A halfing and married with a kid! Last fucking thing I expected, but gotta say, I’m happy for you.” 

“Not sure how I feel about those words coming out of that mouth,” Veth said, squinting, “... but thank you.” She gave a small nod, preening a little.

Molly grinned and nodded back. “Honestly,” he said, looking at everyone, “happy for all of you, you look amazing! Not to mention all of -” he gestured wildly at the chamber around them - “this! Holy shit! No more sleeping under a cart here.”

Caleb smiled slightly. “Well, there is more to see if you would like.”

Molly’s head whipped over, eyes huge.

“ _Please._ ”

“Alright then,” Caleb said, standing up and brushing off the front of his pants. “It will be a more limited tour for now, due to the late hour, but I can show you at least one more floor.”

The rest of them got to their feet, Yasha helping Molly stand and supporting him with an arm around his waist. “Just think up,” she said to him.

“What do you mea-” He yelped in surprise as everyone started to float upwards, briefly sinking in Yasha’s grip before righting himself and bobbing back into place. “This night has been amazing,” he whispered. “And surreal. So _so_ surreal.”

He looked up, face awed as the iris opened above them and head darting around as they entered the third floor of the tower.

“This is the Salon,” Caleb said, closing the iris below them with a quiet “zu” and settling gently onto the floor, the group following a moment later. “These three levels act as our library, with furniture and study areas in a few different places. The books are all ones I’ve read in the past though there may be a duplicate here and there.”

“You’ve read a lot of fucking books,” Molly murmured, craning his neck around to view as much as could while leaning in Yasha’s arm. “Any highlights I need to see?”

“There is one thing,” Caleb said, and gestured for everyone to follow.

Molly continued to look around as they went around the corner, sounder of a crackling fire growing closer - and stopped dead when he saw what was in front of him, being jostled slightly as it took Yasha a second to stop. His mouth hung open as he stared.

“This has been here since the beginning,” Caleb said quietly, standing before the fireplace and the giant stain glass window styled to resemble Molly’s coat. “But I thought it might be good for you to see it.”

Molly’s mouth worked for a few moments, no sound coming out. He swallowed. 

“Molly?” Yasha asked gently.

“I’m really here,” he whispered, eyes welling up. “I’m alive and I’m _here_.”

He started to cry, to sob even, and everyone came forward at once. Yasha just put her other arm around him to complete a hug, murmuring that it was okay, and Molly reached up to grab her forearm. 

“Why are you crying? You shouldn’t have to cry.” Veth.

“Hey man, it’s alright...” Fjord.

“Molls, hey, it’s okay, we’re here okay?” Beau.

“Please don’t cry Molly! We’re all here for you.” Jester.

“You are safe here, you don’t have to worry.” Caleb.

“Deep breaths. You’re going to be alright.” Caduceus. 

There were several long shuddering breaths, a few hiccupping sobs, and eventually, a release of tension as things settled into regular breathing. Yasha checked that he was steady and eased back from the hug, arm back around the waist to give him support.

Molly gave a wet laugh, sniffling a little. “I’m not even that upset, it’s just - it just kept coming for a bit. Wow.” He scrubbed at his eyes furiously, giving another sniff. “I’m okay guys. I’m okay.”

“We’re glad you’re okay,” Caduceus said, placing a hand on Molly’s shoulder. “And it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, a lot has happened to you tonight. Don’t hesitate to talk to any of us if you need it.”

“I, uh, sure.” He gave himself a strong shake. “Yeah. Thanks. And I will.”

Molly rubbed the last of the tears away from his eyes and stifled a yawn. “H-how late is it?”

“Pretty late,” Beau said. “Well past midnight at least. Our guide’s staying in the guest room and we didn’t want him interrupting the resurrection on accident.” She paused. “Actually, wait, where are you going to sleep? Shit, Caleb, can you make another room?”

“Ah, no, not on the bedroom floors, but I could set up something in the great hall?”

“You could room with me if you wanted,” Fjord offered. “There’s both a bed and hammock in my room, and I can take the hammock.” 

Molly leaned into Yasha, thinking for a long moment.

“Could... could we set up something here? Together? It doesn’t have to be everyone,” he added quickly. “It’s just. It’s been a lot and some close company would be nice. _Really_ nice,” he said quietly.

“We can do that,” Beau said, starting with nodding slowly but it getting more forceful. “Yeah, we can do that.”

“Sounds good to me,” Fjord said, and Caduceus hummed in assent, nodding. 

Veth shrugged. “Why not.”

“Pillow foooort!” Jester threw her arms up in the air. “Come on guys, come on, help me find the stuff!”

The group spread out and grabbed blankets, pillows, and cushions from all around the salon, depositing it in a large pile in front of the fireplace while Jester fluffed the pillows and Beau figured out the best way to arrange things. Caleb banked the fireplace with a wave of his hand, it settling down to a soft and quiet glow. 

“We’re going to go get ready for bed, but we’ll be back in a moment, okay?” Yasha said, gently setting Molly down. He nodded.

“Okay.”

Several minutes later Molly stirred back to consciousness, having dozed off, a few people now settling in around him. Jester gave a little wave, nestling down into a mound of pillows, while Beau was already snoring quietly next to Yasha. Fjord had taken a line of cushions made up like a bed with a blanket and pillow. Veth sprawled out without a care. Caduceus saw him and nodded, as if he’d been waiting for the acknowledgement, and laid down to go to sleep. Molly looked around.

“Caleb?”

“Over here,” the wizard said quietly, sitting in a chair near the fireplace. “You should sleep.”

“Only if you do too,” Molly mumbled. His eyes were already drooping.

“I will. Now sleep.”

He dozed off again, the amount of time uncertain, but at some point in the night felt one more person settle down. Soon he heard Frumpkin’s quiet trill, Caleb murmuring small affections to his cat, and Molly smiled, finally drifting off to sleep.

***

When the Mighty Nein showed up the next morning at breakfast with Lady DeRogna suddenly in tow, Dagen gave them a Look.

“We had an unexpected visitor in the middle of the night,” Caleb said as a way of explanation as he sat down at the table. “Lady DeRogna messaged us for assistance and we went to her aid. Since there was no immediate danger we figured it would be better to let you rest.”

Dagen looked over to where Vess had been placed at the table. The Archmage was bundled in a ridiculous amount of blankets, barely visible except for her head and the occasional hand that would dart out for some food. Sometimes after a bite she would lean over to whisper to the tall aasimar or blue tiefling sitting next to her, who would then whisper back for a few seconds. There was also a small train of food gradually being passed over by the other members of the table, any finished food item immediately being replaced by something new.

“She did require some healing though, and she will need time to fully recover,” Fjord added in, briefly distracting Dagen from his observations. “We are doing what we can to make her comfortable.”

Vess muffled a small burp, hand flying up to cover her mouth.

“Uh huh,” Dagen said. “... glad to see you’re alright Lady DeRogna.”

Vess gave a muffled “mmhm,” hand still over her mouth, before ducking her head down and continuing eating.

Dagen chewed slowly, watching Vess for a solid few minutes. “Hrm.” He looked back to Caleb.

“She gonna be okay to travel? You said yourself this place doesn’t last, and Eiselcross isn’t exactly friendly.”

Caleb thought about how he would answer. Fjord and Veth were arguing over something nonsensical, continuing to pass food down the table while Vess leaned over to whisper something Jester, the tiefling bursting into giggles and Yasha shaking her head. Beau watched all of them, chin on her hand, and Caduceus just smiled, sipping on his cup of tea.

“You know,” Caleb said, smiling, “I think we’re going to be okay.”


End file.
